Posts Tagged ‘grandparenting’

Teaching Kids to Write Thank-You Notes

January 31, 2011

Child writing a thank-you noteHave you ever received a thank-you note from a grandchild? If so, I’m quite sure it warmed your heart. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that thank-you notes are an important part of expressing our gratitude to one another. The practice brings graciousness and civility to our lives and draws us closer to one another.

Are thank-you notes becoming a lost art?
What brought this to mind was not a lack of thank-yous from my grandkids. Rather it was the response I received from guests of an elegant luncheon I gave in honor of a special teacher of mine. Of the ten people present, I received two sweet emails and one handwritten note. None of them were from the guest of honor. Of course, I didn’t host the luncheon in order to receive thanks. But I admit the experience would have felt more complete had she sent me a little personal note. Email or snail mail wouldn’t have mattered. She is generally a thoughtful person, and I’m sure she was not being purposely neglectful. I suspect she simply wasn’t trained as a child to express thanks in this way, and it didn’t occur to her to do so.

We can reverse this trend; it needn’t be difficult.
Frankly, I think many of us have neglected to teach our kids the simple art of thank-you notes. Perhaps we ourselves have let the practice slide. But we can do better, and maybe we can teach our grandkids to do better too.

When are thank-you notes appropriate?
About.com has a great article on The Do’s and Don’ts of Thank You Notes by Donna Pilato. (http://entertaining.about.com/cs/etiquette/a/thankyou.htm) She writes, “A thank you note is an expression of appreciation for a thoughtful act, expression, or gift.” She goes on to say, “… just remember that an imperfect note that comes with heartfelt sentiment is better than a perfect note that was never written.”

Guidelines most applicable to children are:

  • Always send notes for gifts that were received by mail. (If you’ve received and opened the gift in person, and you already thanked the giver personally, it’s nice but not necessary to send a note.)
  • Send thank-you notes as quickly as possible.
  • The message can be brief.
  • Always make specific reference to the gift. (“Thank you for the mittens.”)
  • Say what you feel or think about the gift. (“They keep my hands warm and toasty!”)
  • If you didn’t care for the gift, show appreciation for the thought. (“Thanks for remembering my birthday.”)
  • Here are a few ideas that may help get the grandkids excited about writing thank-yous:

  • Let them see you writing thank-yous. Kids love to imitate adults. When the grandkids ask what you’re doing, you can explain in such a way that might intrigue them. Invite them to try it themselves.
  • Give them some fun notepaper. Have colorful marking pens and stickers on hand.
  • If the child is reluctant to write something, encourage him to draw a thank-you picture.
  • You may want to help the child brainstorm the message, allowing the child to use his own words.
  • If the child has not yet learned to write legibly, you can serve as a stenographer, writing out the message at the child’s direction and letting her sign her name.

    I believe we’re doing our grandchildren a favor by teaching them the simple art of thank-you notes. In this small way, we’re helping them make a gentler, kinder world in which to grow up.

    Aunt Linda's Signature

    A caveat: Be sure the parents are on board with this little project. You don’t want to appear judgmental toward them if they haven’t yet taught this practice to their children. You want them to be thankful.

  • Check out Whimsmoore’s Elf Toy-of-the-Month™ We’ve got an entire year of delightful surprises for your child or grandchild.

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    What Do I Feed the Grandkids? Six Days of Recipes-3

    December 14, 2010
    PORTLAND STEW 

    Your grandkids are coming to visit during the holidays and you’re wondering what to feed them. You want your grandchildren to discover that healthy food can be yummy.

    My family has always loved this dish. True, my son refused to eat onions until he grew up and tasted Army food. But because the onions are in rings and layered, it was easy to remove them. So here is the third of six healthy dishes your grandkids may enjoy.

    Servings: 8 Serving size: 1-1/2 cups Preparation Time: 15-20 minutes

    Ingredients:

    • 2 pounds Stew Meat
    • 1/2 cup Onion sliced 1 medium Potato with skin
    • 2 cups sliced Carrots
    • 30 ounces canned cut Green Beans
    • 10-1/2 ounces condensed canned Tomato soup
    • 1/4 cup Flour
    • 1/2 teaspoon Black Pepper
    • 2 pieces Bay leaf

    Directions:

    1. Combine Flour and seasoning in a container with tight-fitting lid. Add Meat.  Put on lid and shake to cover.
    2. Place Meat in the bottom of a greased casserole or crock pot. Pour remaining flour over meat.
    3. Add layer of onions, bay leaves, potatoes, carrots and beans. Spread soup on top.
    4. Cover and bake for 5 to 8 hours in 250 oven or on low for 8 hours in crock pot.

    Together, let’s invite our children and grandchildren’s imaginations (and good eating habits!) out to play.

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    Grandparents and Gifts

    November 9, 2010
    Grandmother Reading to Grandkids

    Our Guest Blogger is my friend and fellow writer, Kelly Wilson. I’ve asked her to give us a parent’s perspective on grandparenting and gifts.

    from Kelly:
    My boys, ages eight and five, love to spend time with their grandmother. She’s their only surviving grandparent, and she provides a specific nurturing relationship that I can’t, as a parent, give them.

    I believe that this bond between grandparents and grandchildren is more important than ever for children in our society. As birthdays and major holidays roll around, use these opportunities for gift-giving to deepen your relationship with your grandchildren.

    Start With Your Interests

    The relationship that grandparents build with grandchildren is special and unique. If you’re not sure how best to encourage that connection, start with your own interests and apply them to gift-giving.

    If you’re an avid fisherman, consider buying your grandchildren fishing poles and accessories so that they can fish with you. Perhaps you are a talented artist, musician, or woodworker. Find items that you can purchase for your grandchildren to help you both share your specific passion.

    Once your interests have been explored, take note of what captures the attention of your grandchildren. Use these observations to plan outings or give gifts that feed their healthy curiosity – your interest will help them to feel special.

    Classics Are In

    Children aren’t yet sentimental about childhood, but they like to share in our feelings about how we grew up. Research your favorite classic toys from your own growing-up years to give to your grandchildren. There has been renewed interest in these kinds of toys and many have been or are currently being produced. Don’t forget to include stories about your experience with these classic toys!

    An Educational Focus

    An entire market for educational toys has grown through recent years, popular with parents wanting the best opportunities for their children. These kinds of toys are marketed for a variety of age levels and include books, games, explorations, and puzzles.

    An educational focus of play doesn’t have to be totally academic, however. A healthy use of imagination qualifies as educational, and toys that encourage imaginative play help children in their development.

    The Follow-Up

    Once the gifts have been given, the fun can begin! Whether classic, educational, or the latest popular toys, it’s important for grandparents to take some time playing with their grandchildren. Children build important aspects of their lives through play, including relationships, social skills, memories and emotional attachments – as a grandparent, you can take advantage of your role in this important process.

    So if you’ve chosen a favorite book to pass on to your grandchildren as a gift, snuggle up and read through it with them. Make arrangements with them to share your passion or talent. Have them teach you how to use or play with a new toy or game, and make the most of this time with them while they’re young to deepen your relationship – this is the best gift you can give!

    Kelly Wilson is an editor for Teaching Resource Center, a trusted source of teacher supplies and free teacher lesson plans. She is also the author of Live Cheap and Free!

    ___________________________________________________________

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    Goofy Grandparenting

    November 1, 2010
    I’m talking about being “goofy” in a good, sillyicious way. Family dynamic experts tell us that family members usually balance each others’ styles. If one child is hyper, another child might subconsciously choose to be calm and serious. If one parent is a fun parent, then the other parent usually feels a need to be the disciplinarian. But what about grandparenting?

    I’m writing this on Halloween night between answering the door for trick-or-treaters, while my hubby is currently visiting some our kids and grandkids in another city. I’ve mentioned in this blog that my husband is the fun guy in our family. He is great with kids of all ages. When the kids in the neighborhood see me, they often ask, “Where’s Bill?”

    Up until now, I’ve been content to be the friendly, but quiet one. But not tonight! Without Bill here, I’ve been having fun being goofy. Which makes me wonder … can two people in the same family act silly sometimes? Especially if they’re grandparents? Mind you, I would never want to steal the spotlight from my main squeeze, but I’m thinking there are times when I can let the goofy side of my nature out.

    How about you? Do you allow yourself to be a goofy grandparent? I’d love to hear you tell us about it!

    Together, let’s invite our children and grandchildren’s imaginations out to play.

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    Being a “Funner” Grandparent

    September 12, 2010

    I am a bad auntie, read a friend’s Facebook post. I … MAY have let them eat potato chips just before bed, and I may have let them go to bed without brushing their teeth. :)

    For a tiny moment, I was shocked. Had I ever let my grandkids go to bed without brushing their teeth? Would I be a bad grandma if I did?

    I looked at my friend’s accompanying photo again. The children were clearly having a ball. Would it be possible to lead my grandchildren in a little more fun? Could I let the small stuff slide once in a while? Aren’t we grandparents allowed to do that?

    Sure, I’ve blogged about finding my “Cooking Grandma Groove,” and being the “Gardening Grandma.” I often mention my Elfery™ under the stairs where kids love to come to play. I write charming Elfery Storybooks™ about the Glimmer Glen Elves™ and share them with children and grandchildren everywhere through the Elf Toy of the Month. But my friend’s Facebook post, got me to thinking. And I’m thinking I’m missing out!

    My friend is a parent and auntie of young children and not a grandmother. Still, she is an inspiration to me. Here’s her complete post:

    These are my kids along with their two cousins right now! They are setting up their sleeping spots for tonight, and apparently think they all can fit between the wall and the bed. I am a bad auntie, and so I will let them try this configuration out and let them discover that they can’t sleep in this manner. I also let [the youngest] have both her binkys in her mouth at the same time. Yes, I am THAT kind of Auntie.

    he he he…it is so much fun. I let them swing on the tree swing until it was pitch black outside and then we rolled a hula hoop down the hill while we took turns dodging it, with only our glow bracelets to guide us. It was mayhem, but they… had such rosy cheeks and ear to ear grins when we came inside.

    I also MAY have let them eat potato chips just before bed, and I may have let them go to bed without brushing their teeth. :)

    See what I mean? This woman knows how to enjoy her kids. Of course, the fun of it is that they don’t get to do this kind of activity very often. It’s fun because it’s a special occasion and there’s no agenda attached. It’s simply fun for fun’s sake.

    Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.

    ~Gene Perret

    Don’t get me wrong; I’ll try never to create a situation that places the grandchildren in danger. But I do want to create fun-for-fun’s-sake times like these. I’ll see what kind of trouble we can get into the very next time I’m in charge!

    How about you? Do you have this kind of fun with your children or grandchildren? I’d love for you to share in your comments below!

    Together, let’s invite our children and grandchildren’s imaginations out to play.

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    Deciding to be Closer to the Grandkids

    August 7, 2010

    Do you realize how important you are to your grandchildren? And how important they are to you? I was always sorry that my son grew up so far from his grandparents. And now that we are grandparents ourselves, I’ve wanted to be closer to our grandkids.

    True, I’ve blogged about being the Gardening Grandma and the Cooking Grandma and how much I enjoy my time with the grandkids. But these times have been too far apart by my lights. Still, until I began reading studies and accounts of children’s relationships with their grandparents, I didn’t fully understand what we and our society have lost by not having close grandparent/grandchild connections.

    I could write an entire article, or maybe several, about what I’ve learned on the subject. But because this is a blog and not a treatise, I will share a few quotes with you:

    The love of grandparents and grandchildren is often incredibly pure and powerful. The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families by Mary Pipher.

    A child needs a grandparent, anybody’s grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world. ~Charles and Ann Morse

    What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani

    Our grandchildren accept us for ourselves, without rebuke or effort to change us, as no one in our entire lives has ever done, not our parents, siblings, spouses, friends – and hardly ever our own grown children. ~Ruth Goode

    As I write this, my husband and I are making an offer on a house that will put us closer to the grandkids. It’s true that our kids, with their children, can decide to move and we’ll be further away again. But we’re willing to take the chance to be closer while we can.

    If you’re a parent I hope you’ll encourage your own parents to be involved in your children’s lives. If you’re a grandparent, and you haven’t already, seriously consider how you can be more involved in your grandchildren’s lives. It could be the most important connection you’ll ever make.

    In the meantime, take a look at Whimsmoore’s Elf Toy of the Month™ program we’ve designed to help grandchildren and grandparents connect with one another. http://whimsmoore.com/ETOM.html

    We also have a few Books for Families that may give you some other ideas on how to connect. http://whimsmoore.com/familybooks.html

    Together, let’s invite our children and grandchildren’s imaginations out to play.

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    The Glimmer Glen Elves Elves Family Guide to Celebrating the Seasons

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